Heaven knows I'm miserable now.....

You know when you think things can't get worse- and then they do? Welcome to my life right now. After I spoke to the boyfriend last week about the whole misery over long distance thing, he was like "oh well, I will consider not taking the job". And then about twenty minutes later kept going ON and ON about who he would live with next year, emails from his future colleagues, where he's going to live, whether he'll rent a car etc etc and then he would occasionally say "Oh, obviously I might not take it". Yeah right. So I basically told him on Monday, my birthday, to please stop talking about it atleast until after finals. But today, he started again. So I sent him an email saying, look, I was really upset about it and could he please stop talking about it because it just made it worse and for me, everytime he mentions it, its like "hello, lets talk about the end of the affair". I have developed a bit of a crying in secret problem about it. So, there I am, thinking ok, I can manage this. 7 days to exams and counting. Then today he reminds me can I move all my stuff out of his room because he needs to start getting good nights sleep for finals- which I'm not happy about because I sleep terribly alone and I'm already upset over this whole charade, but I think, fair point of his. So I ask him if he'll come back with me to my room to talk to me for a few minutes, just whilst I make up my bed etc and to stop me having to come back later for the rest of my stuff. And he starts shouting "No, time is a precious commodity, thats why I am getting rid of you [out my room]", so I say, sarcastically, its only a "short term investment", to which he starts shouting "I don't have time for short term investments". Which would be fair enough if he hadn't spent FIVE HOURS getting trolleyed at the pub last night, with people he doesn't even get on with that well, then slept for 11 hours cause he was so drunk. Yet with me, who he knows is miserable/upset/stressed and actually certifiably insane, he can't spare ten minutes.

So, I fume for a while, then send him a text saying he is the most selfish person I know (which is true, he really is. When I was stressed out about my cancer appointment, unable to sleep the night before, he was out getting drunk with some american and didn't even bother to find out how it went). And he basically starts ranting on, culminating in a text saying "stop being such a needy drama queen or get your daddy to buy you a more spineless boyfriend". Its funny, I think that pushed me into a plane beyond upset. I was going to answer back, but I was actually thinking "I have nothing to say to you. You are a horrible person." So I didn't. Needless to say he's not got back to me since. Ah well, no chance of long distanceness now. I'm just worried that this is going to some how induce some sort of mental breakdown. The library is already full of sobbing wrecks. And they haven't just had massive arguements with their long term boyfriends.